Let’s talk about sex! Or lack thereof!
Kasee and I practiced celibacy before marriage, and I was always hesitant to share it. Not because I was ashamed, but it felt like I was waving a self-righteous badge of honor that read, “I’m better than you!” And that was never my motive.
But now that we’re married, I am reaping the benefits of a celibate premarital relationship. And I agree that practicing celibacy doesn’t make you better than the next person, but it does make you better for the right person.
I’m sharing the benefits that can unfold when you decide to save it for marriage.
YOU KNOW WHO YOU’RE GETTING
Let’s be honest. Even when we’re just physically attracted to someone, we can easily overlook character flaws. Now you sprinkle sexually active on top of that, and those red flags start looking like a bouquet of roses!
Once you’re married, the dust settles, and you have to face your partner every day. And not just the part that makes your toes curl when they do that thing you like, but all of them. If you’ve never faced those pieces before, you may resent what you see staring back at you. When you practice celibacy, you connect with clarity and ensure that the person you’re dating aligns with the core values you expect from a partner.
YOUR PARTNER KNOWS WHO THEY’RE GETTING
You’re sexy. You know it. You ain’t afraid to show it.
But all that sexiness may be clouding your partner’s view of who you truly are. Eliminating sex allows your partner to explore you on a deeper level and ensure that you possess favorable qualities. You’d hate to enter marriage because the sex is bomb and later realize that they’re just not that into you.
If your partner can stick with you through celibacy, then you know that they think you’re just as dope as you think they are! Even when your clothes are on!
SEX ISN’T THE FOUNDATION OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP
You’ve heard this story. A couple who once shared spicy nights eventually loses their spark, and inevitably someone questions, “Do you still love me?”
Premarital sex trains us to believe that sex is the foundation of a healthy relationship and makes us question our partner’s love when we’re not getting it as frequently as we think appropriate. It becomes our measurement of validation.
When you save yourself for marriage, you and your partner learn to love each other, for real. They have time to study your likes, dislikes, strengths, and weaknesses. They learn what makes you smile and what triggers your tears.
When your partner masters your love language, they’re able to express their love even when you are not as sexually active as you’d like. Your value in the relationship is no longer tied to the frequency of your bedroom appointments.
YOU EXPERIENCE REAL INTIMACY
Webster defines intimacy as closeness.
Love taps, neck nibbles, gentle kisses, and sweet words are all beautiful building blocks to the highest form of intimacy, sex.
The only thing better than sex is lovemaking. An act that occurs when two people are in…love.
This type of bond goes beyond vibes and compatibility. It’s a real connection and alignment between two souls. And it’s required before you can experience true closeness.
you prepare for commitment
Marriage is a commitment that asks two hearts to do what it takes to make it work. When you practice celibacy, the transition into marriage isn’t as alarming. By practicing self-control and discipline, there isn’t much that you can’t tackle as a team!
