Growing up, my sister and I were the worst bike riders. We loved riding all day, but no matter how hard we tried, we would crash into one another and fall. One day on a casual ride, we hit, and my sister landed hard on the concrete. Her leg was bleeding, and she was screaming to the top of her lungs. I ran to get my mom, and she took my sister and cleaned her up.
We had crashed a million times before, but she was distraught because I had caused a painful injury to her leg.
I have always thought of a breach of trust like an injury to the body. Similar to a wound, when it first happens, you’re mortified by what you see and upset it happened.
You keep touching it to see if it’s real, and it hurts so damn bad! But, as time goes on, the wound slowly heals and eventually turns into a scar.
When you look at that scar, you remember how it got there and the pain you once felt, but you’re no longer suffering.
Trust Issue Vs Us Issue
Unfortunately, most of the time, when someone breaks our trust, they’re frequent offenders and never allow us the time to heal from the last infliction. When this occurs, you have more than trust issues; you just have issues.
Webster defines trust as the firm belief in the character, strength, or truth of someone. So it’s safe to assume that when someone continually hurts you, your confidence in that firm foundation diminishes.
Insecurities, possessiveness, and resentment are the spill-out of the distrust cycle and make it nearly impossible to continue the relationship.
New Trust, New Us
If you accept the invitation to rebuild, things WILL have to change. You can no longer live in the same space that got you into that situation. As a couple, you all will need to revisit your relationship’s boundaries and determine the actions necessary to make you comfortable.
Undoubtedly, the person who has breached trust is responsible for creating a space where you feel loved and cared for. However, it’s up to you to accept the new opportunity to trust again. Without your open heart, their attempts are invalid because you won’t be available to receive them.
Trust is A Must
You can’t have a happy, honest relationship when you’re battling distrust. Your thoughts are consumed with doubt, and your love is tainted by hurt.
If you’re dealing with skepticism today, have a raw conversation with your partner about your feelings and the steps you need to take towards peace.
