A year after undergrad, I received the opportunity to get my MBA for free, so of course, I accepted. I spent the next two years working a full-time corporate job, studying at night, and squeezing social activities into weekends. I was exhausted.
Finally, graduation day arrived, and I celebrated the day with my immediate family. The following day I threw myself a party to celebrate with my extended framily ,and it was during that event that Kasee proposed.
I was overjoyed and could hardly keep up with the endless notifications that were coming through my phone. But there was one message the immediately caught my eye.
A family member, who had half-heartedly acknowledged my graduation, sent me a text that read, “Congratulations on your engagement, I’m so proud of you!”
While I was appreciative of the message, I was baffled by the idea that this person placed more value on an engagement than a whole degree that I had worked incredibly hard to receive! At that moment, I realized that society recognizes marriage as a success factor. And, I guess that’s cool.
The unfortunate part is that this so-called success is causing individuals to run full-speed towards situations that they were never meant to be in. All in the name of societal standards. All in the name of success.
If you don’t know by now, I’m all about putting things in a realistic view, so imagine this. After planning, budgeting, and researching, a couple announces that they’ve purchased a million-dollar home! They share this news with their close friends and post it on social media for the world to see. The congratulations come pouring in, and shortly after, their inner circle becomes inspired to do the same.
So a few weeks later, the other couples in the group decide they’ll purchase a million-dollar home too! They all post the great news on their social media, and everyone is genuinely excited for the seemingly successful couples, but a few years go by, and things start to look different for each duo.
Honey, I’m Home
The first couple is doing great! They’re able to pay their bills on time, they’ve decorated, and are enjoying the luxuries of their blessing.
This scenario symbolizes a ready marriage. The couple has done the legwork upfront to ensure that the transition into marriage isn’t difficult. And so, they enjoy marital bliss!
It Doesn’t Feel Like Home, Yet
The next couple struggles initially with money management and their new responsibility, but after reviewing their budget, they adust and go on to enjoy the home.
Although the couple struggles in the beginning, they eventually get a system that works for their marriage and goes on to live happily ever after. They could have probably avoided some of the stress by not rushing, but overall they’re satisfied.
WE Should Have Gone Bigger
This couple actually wanted more, and could have afforded more if they’d just waited, but to keep up with the group, they settled for something smaller than they desired. They quickly outgrow the space and are always looking for something better, but unfortanley they’re locked down into a rushed decision.
This couple represents the individuals that settle for less than they deserve simply because they want to keep up. But inevitably, they’ll spend their days always thinking about how they deserve someone more smart, affluent, or attractive than their spouse.
As Long As We’re In The Neighborhood
This couple can hardly handle the mortgage and struggle to keep up their perceived lifestyle each month. The house is genuinely more trouble than it’s worth, but they’re too embarrassed to let go in fear of being judged.
This situation represents couples who go into marriages unprepared but fight tooth and nail to maintain an image that aligns with the life they want to have. They appear happy on the outside, but the inside things are far from perfect. This couple would rather live in the perception of happiness instead of experiencing real joy.
Home For Sale
This last couple can’t keep up. They don’t have the money to handle important finances and have to foreclose on the home.
This last couple represents individuals who jump into something way too fast and are ill-prepared for what lies ahead. They couldn’t fake if they wanted to, because they’re just that unhappy. This type of relationship ends in divorce and is the most unfortunate of all the scenarios.
The Verdict
Just like anyone can buy a house, anyone can get married. And while marriage can be successful, simply being married doesn’t make your life a success.
Use the same diligence you’d use for house hunting for spouse hunting. Be honest with yourself and make sure your partner is a smart investment before making a major commitment. You deserve nothing short of the best!
Just like we’re not all ready to invest in a million-dollar home at 30, we (and our partners) are not all mentally or emotionally prepared to be married by 30. If it happens before then, great. If it doesn’t, also great. Chose Merry over Marry, and don’t let the internet rush you into misery.
